Quickie Couple Communication Technique

Adulting is time-consuming. Whether it be the daily grind of the job, children and related responsibilities, meeting other family demands, or just trying to get a workout in, our lives are in constant motion. It can be challenging, especially for couples, to stay connected in the midst of these busy daily routines. By the end of the day, many partners are exhausted and looking for a moment of rest and relaxation. Conversations often surround responsibilities, coordination of duties, and family updates. Staying connected as individuals can be a struggle for some couples. An easy communication strategy to promote conversation and connectedness is the “high and low of the day” technique. This involves partners setting aside only 10 minutes at the end of the day. During this time, they come together and talk about the “high and low of the day.” Each partner takes turn identifying the high point and low point that occurred during their day. This is a great strategy to keep consistent communication and connectedness, talking about positive and challenging events or activities. These moments provide opportunities to share and delight in the positive, as well as support each other in dealing with challenges. This might include struggles with parenting, at work, or even with each other. Having structured time sustains consistency of communication; sharing our thoughts of what can make or break a day, can also provide great insight for our partner regarding our perceptions and experiences. You might be surprised by the things that can make a big impact in your partner’s day, whether positive or negative. There might have been a special recognition or interaction at work which was really great, or possibly a difficult conversation with a coworker; intentional structured conversation provides an outlet to share these experiences, especially when everyday life has a tendency to take over and we might be inclined to negate or push aside these experiences. So take a few minutes today and ask your partner their “high and low of the day,” you just might be surprised to find out what is on their mind…

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